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Chris Roper Go over to Facebook and join the chrisroper.co.za group. There's a prize... not really.
My stuff:
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Smooshy
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3:03PM, Thursday, 20 Nov, 2008
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I can't stand it anymore. It's actually worse when you can stare at fishing boats on the sea, and still, you're eating farmed crap.
Yep, it's the old complaint. You go to a cool-looking sushi restaurant like Wakame in Mouille Point, and you're forced to eat limp, defrosted farm salmon and tuna. I mean, this is the view! Expensive cars, fishing boats!
But they make you eat this! Verlep Norwegian immigrant salmon, crab sticks made out of chicken feed and melamine (not really, please - no lawyers. It just tastes like that), and tuna that lost its taste years ago, when they froze it.
The worst thing is, it apparently takes three kilos of wild-caught fish used in feed to produce one farmed salmon. What's the point, I ask you. What's the point. I might as well eat at KFC.
According to the NY Times, "Nearly one-third of the world’s wild-caught
fish are reduced to fish meal and fed to farmed fish and cattle and
pigs. Aquaculture alone consumes an estimated 53 percent of the world’s
fish meal and 87 percent of its fish oil. (To make matters worse, as
much as a quarter of the total wild catch is thrown back — dead — as “bycatch.”)“Using fish meal to feed farm-raised fish is
also astonishingly inefficient. Approximately three kilograms of forage
fish go to produce one kilogram of farmed salmon; the ratio for cod is
five to one; and for tuna — the most beef-like of all — the so-called
feed-to-flesh ratio is 20 to 1" Seriously, I'm starting to think eating fish is just plain unpleasant. If they don't overcook the poor things, they have to dowse it in some rubbish sauce to try and reconstitute it. And why sushi restaurants next to the ocean can't organise to have some yellowtail or bream or something available, I'll never know. Guess it's about money. It always is.
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Yep, it's a party.
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12:41PM, Monday, 17 Nov, 2008
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If you're in Cape Town this weekend, come to our party at the Assembly. I'll buy you a drink
Chris
Speakerbox RADAR Party
Showcasing SA’s freshest hip hop and indie-rock talent
Date: Saturday, 22 November 08
Time: 21:00
Venue: The Assembly, Harrington Street, Cape Town
Admission: R 30 presale. R40 at the door.
Join Speakerbox.co.za in celebrating the best hip hop and indie-rock talent around! The evening will feature hot new favourite and 2008 Rocking the Daisies Red Bull RADAR winner, The Plastics alongside the likes of ETC Crew, Pretoria-based kidofdoom and the phenomenal one-man-band Yesterday’s Pupil. Jax Panik, who never performs in person, will also do a live video transmission show. DJ Marshall will keep the party alive until early morning hours.
SA’s freshest local new talent in one venue – don’t miss it!
The line-up:
The Plastics (Radar winners),
ETC Crew
kidofdoom (Pretoria)
Yesterday’s Pupil (Pretoria)
Jax Panik
DJ Marshall
Visit www.speakerbox.co.za for more info.
- Speakerbox. Where music is everything.-
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The Death of Blog.
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10:05AM, Friday, 14 Nov, 2008
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NIcholas Carr (Rough Type) put up an interesting post last week, where he talks about the death of blogging as we know/knew it. Essentially, he argues that maintstream companies have hijacked the blogosphere (yes, we all hate the word), so that most top blogs now aren't actually blogs. In our country, Thought Leader is a case in point - it's not a blog, it's a website. He also talks about how bloated blog pages have become, and about how impossible it is for an individual to compete with a team of dedicated 'blog' writers.
A useful stat is that "Technorati has identified 133 million blogs since it started indexing
them in 2002. But at least 94 percent of them have gone dormant."
Go read the article yourselves, but I liked his analogy with radio:
"Back in 2005, I argued
that the closest historical precedent for blogging was amateur radio.
The example has become, if anything, more salient since then. When "the
wireless" was introduced to America around 1900, it set off a surge in
amateur broadcasting, as hundreds of thousands of people took to the
airwaves.
"On every night after dinner," wrote Francis Collins in the
1912 book Wireless Man, "the entire country becomes a vast whispering
gallery." As amateur broadcasting boomed, utopian rhetoric soared.
Popular Science wrote, "The nerves of the whole world are, so to speak,
being bound together, so that a touch in one country is transmitted
instantly to a far-distant one."
The amateur broadcasters, the
historian Susan J. Douglas has written,
"claimed to be surrogates for 'the people.'" The democratic
"radiosphere," as we might have called it today, "held a special place
in the American imagination precisely because it married idealism and
adventure with science.""
Check out the full article on Rough Type.
Now we all know what Mark Twain said: "Reports of the death of my blog have been greatly exaggerated", or words to that effect. Blogs aren't dying, just morphing. As blogger Kaapseklong says, bloggers learn they have to feed the monster, and then they collapse in exhaustion. But it's true that the definition of blogs is changing.
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Mama Sutra
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1:49PM, Wednesday, 12 Nov, 2008
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Your Pregnancy magazine - which clearly has an editorial staff that has a sense of humour about stuff, thankfully - have sent me the cover of the Dec/Jan issue. All the covering email said was, "tee hee."
Martin, they reckon this one will disturb you even more.
There's even a story called Mama Sutra! And one about maximising your baby-making holiday.
(see previous blog entry for more detail on this debate)
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Come to mama
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7:09AM, Wednesday, 12 Nov, 2008
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A while ago, I asked readers to send me any odd/freaky/stupid magazine covers they happened upon. Here's one from Martin. I must say, I don't find this cover as disturbing as he does. As a Jeep owner, I find the idea of a Jeep pram a little weird, though. Now I own a rugged 4x4 that is also a pram? What kind of brand IS that?
"Hi Chris
"You asked for odd mag covers, etc. This is not the funniest but it has been bugging me for a while. Why is this pregnant woman giving the reader a come-hither look? I don't think pregnant woman ought to go into purdah until their child is born nor that that they shouldn't make themselves attractive, dress up, etc. But this woman seems to be trying to recreate the seductive look she gave her man the night they procreated. There's something quite disturbing about it. If my wife looked at me like that right now - actually ever - I'd be seriously scared.
"Martin"
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Give a little bit.
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2:06PM, Friday, 07 Nov, 2008
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Lots of people have asked how they can help with the Bathandwa Children's Home. So here's a 2 min video about it, shot by Richard of 24.com. Take a look, and here are the bank details .
Www.bathandwa.org.za
Friends of Bathandwa Trust
Bank: Nedbank
Branch: St. George's Mall Cape Town
Account number: 1009 8360 13
Branch Code: 100 909
Swift code: NEDSZAJJ
Type: Cheque Account
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Work for us.
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11:56AM, Friday, 07 Nov, 2008
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Anybody out there fancy a job at 24.com? We're looking for a junior content producer for Channel24.co.za
Here's the official bumph.
Main purpose of the Job
Channel24, a department of 24.com based in Cape Town, currently has a vacancy for a Content Producer, who will be responsible for producing a range of Entertainment content in text, video and picture formats, with a focus on local music.
Job Outputs
• Create original, compelling Entertainment content (text, photographic and video) for channel24.co.za
• Edit, Update, and schedule content
• Spec out and administer websites
• Originate content ideas and apply them
• Share knowledge and skills with rest of team
Skills and Competencies
• Excellent Writing skills
• Collaborative and teamwork skills
• Editing skills
• Sense of humor and good judgement
• Knowledge of SA music and movies
• Ability to learn new skills quickly
• Judgment and self confidence
• Willingness to work in the field, at night, and occasionally on weekends
• Drivers license code 08
• An African language is an advantage
Qualifications and Experience
• portfolio of published work
• at least two years' online experience
• journalism or media degree / diploma
But the unofficial bumph is that we're fun to work with, and if you like SA entertainment, this is a great place to start your career.
Any takers, mail Aashiqa
aashiqa.january@sa.24.com
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A day in the life.
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3:05PM, Thursday, 06 Nov, 2008
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A day in the life of a columnist whose readers have learned to use the interweb.
Comment on News24
"I'd LOVE to
05/11/2008 13:06
have dinner with you, Chris! Every night of the month! I'd lose so much weight because I'd be far too busy laughing! You're a genius. - Ultra Mel "
Letter sent to News24
"Mr Roper, this is the 2nd time, u are showing your racist mentality. Who said blacks are greedy, who said blacks are incompetent. History says it all the only greedy people are whites, who oppressed everyone that does not look white to them. I'm not surprised cause you are a white South African, you still hang on those racist stereotypes which you inherited from your grandparents. Think like a human being and know that blacks are people as well. If white Americans so something better in Obama so be it, who are you to analyse Obama. Is it because he is a black man and holds the most powerful office in the world than you? I guess so. You should be analysing the good terms of Obama, not because of his colour, he is going to do this. Mr Chris Roper, If white South Africans like you could accept blacks work for a change together as one like what the Americans did, we will be better. But for you a white man is a white person who must not tolerate a black person. The First time, I ! read your story about the girl who assaulted the white boys from 'NO KAFFIR ZONE", you gave your racist comments as if you don't know what white schools do to black children, I think its time for you to change your attitude MR."
I don't mind the guy who can't read so much - after all, if he doesn't like satire, and thinks I'm a racist, fine. But the woman who wants me to be funny every night so she can spit food over me - not sure I can handle that.
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The unedited undead.
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1:46PM, Wednesday, 05 Nov, 2008
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Here's the original version of my column on News24 today, which we edited to make it more obvious (as in blindingly) that it's satire.
I don't know... would people really have missed that this is satire? I guess so....
America, beware!
Oh oh. A black president for America. Do those white folk over there know what they’re letting themselves in for?
America has no experience whatsoever in being ruled by an Afro-American (not in fact a type of 70s motor home, it turns out, but the term for somebody who can trace his lineage to a part of Africa, eg. Hawaii). For once, we Africans have the ascendancy over the First World. We KNOW what it’s like to have a black president. So in the spirit of giving something back to the country that brings us lovely, lovely aid packages, cool sneakers, and expired medicines, here are some of the dangers America now faces. This one’s for my buddies in Ohio.
For some reason, a black president will always be corrupt. So if there’s money to be made from starting a random war and then getting a kickback from the arms dealers and merchants of death, he’ll do it. And so will his Vice President. Did someone say Halliburton?
Black presidents are nepotistic despots, who always favour their cronies and immediate family. It’s not uncommon for a father to hand over control of a country to his son. The twit never falls far from the Bush, as we wise old elders say here in Africa™. Yep, that’s elders now with extra old.
Black presidents feel nothing for environmental issues. If there’s oil in their grandmother’s backyard, that grandmother is dead. As is her pet polar bear, whimsically called Alaska.
Nationalisation. It’s not a dirty word, everyone’s doing it. Black presidents will jump at the first chance to nationalise their banks (or part-nationalise, as the Bush government calls it), because the hand that controls the money rocks the world.
Black presidents don’t speak English lekker. So they’re an embarrassment to their country when they have to debate with politicians who can speak English, for example the French. Black presidents will say things like “Do you have blacks, too?”, or “For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it.”
Okay, enough being sarcastic. It’s a good thing, they tell me. The first ever black president of the world. They tell me that it’s going to give hope to all Africans everywhere, with emphasis on Kenya and Hawaii. Hope of what, you ask?
Well, now we can all pull into Barack’s place and sleep on the floor next time we visit America, which is a big moneysaver, let’s face it. And there’s going to be lots more money streaming into Africa, because African immigrants always send money home. Also, Americans are finally going to have to learn a little bit about Africa, and discover that Kenya is not what Barbie shouts out when she orgasms, but in fact a country.
It’s a little known fact that it was the Mormon vote that swung things Obama’s way, with that jolly church of Latter Day Saints seeing the opportunities in having a president who comes from a culture where polygamy is legal. Not to mention a culture where it’s okay to take a child bride. I see a new Mormon day dawning, and the invention of a new type of hyphenated American, the AfroMormon-American.
Already, things are looking up for Afro-American Africans. They’re claiming that this is the first election where race played a part, with more than 19 out of 20 black voters backing Obama. ( I know! I thought there’d be more people voting too!)
This is a slap in the face to all those Pale-Americans who’ve made sure that there’s been a white man in the White House the last 42 times (I’m not counting Nixon, who was obviously some sort of Venezuelan). But | | | | |